


Not Your Fault

by theexhaustedalchemist



Series: 30 Day OTP challenge! (Kit/Ty) [8]
Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23939386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theexhaustedalchemist/pseuds/theexhaustedalchemist
Summary: 30 Day OTP ChallengeDay 8: ShoppingWhere Ty is shutting everyone out and Kit tries to cheer him up
Relationships: Tiberius Blackthorn/Kit Rook
Series: 30 Day OTP challenge! (Kit/Ty) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715980
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	Not Your Fault

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This contains topics that involve suicidal thoughts and self-blame, so proceed with caution!
> 
> *Spoilers for LoS*

There was something bothering Ty. Ever since they had come back from a mission to get rid of a few Rahab demons a few weeks ago, Ty had been even quieter than usual, keeping his headphones on more when Kit was around and had been missing from meals. 

Kit had already tried to figure out what was wrong by asking what the problem was, why he looked so down, why he was acting this way. Each time, Ty didn’t answer and looked away, before resuming what he had been doing before Kit pestered him. 

When the attempts to find out what was going on failed, Kit sent in Julian. As Ty’s older brother, he could usually figure out what was going on with him even if Ty didn’t tell him. But Julian just came back, scratching his head, and Kit’s hopes fell. After that, the two tried to figure out what was going on based on his behavior and what had happened prior. But it’s not like he was leaving sad notes everywhere or singing about his troubles like in a Disney movie. And the mission had been successful, with the only injury being a small cut that Kit had received that was easily fixed by an iratze. Ty hadn’t seemed concerned when he was drawing the rune on Kit’s arm. But the next morning, it was like he was a completely different person.

Julian had sighed, staring down at the dining room table where he and Kit had been speaking in low voices as Kit felt more and more defeated. 

If Ty didn’t want to talk about it, the least Kit could do was to try and cheer him up. That’s what led to movie nights where Ty had stared at his lap, not watching, beach days where Kit had sat in the sand, staring at the waves, and game nights where Ty wouldn’t move his pieces so he had to always be teamed up with someone who was paying attention to the game. 

There was one thing he hadn’t tried yet. Which is why Kit made Ty get in the car and drive off with him, stopping in the parking lot of the one store Ty enjoyed: Thompson’s Bookshop. 

Kit reached down for Ty’s hand, feeling a stab in his heart when Ty tucked his hands in his pocket, his headphones on, as they walked through the doors. A small bell tinkled, and Mr. Thompson, a mundane with the sight, smiled at them from behind the register.

“What can I do for you, boys?” He didn’t seem fazed by Ty’s downcast look, but instead looked at Kit. Kit had been coming to this bookstore since he was a little boy, always pulling his father by the hand to hurry and get inside over the weekends. His dad rarely would buy him books, but would read to him for hours. As Kit got older, his dad would drop him off and Kit would roam the aisles, sitting in one of the leather armchairs in the corner, pouring over the pages as he was immersed in a new story each Saturday. 

Not long after Kit had arrived at the Institute, he had Julian drive Ty and him down to the bookshop on one of their days off from training. Ty’s eyes had lit up at the sight of a bookshop where he wouldn’t have to worry about mundanes or disguising himself, where he could just be the book-crazy Shadowhunter he was. 

Kit glanced at Ty now as he answered Mr. Thompson, feeling more hopeless by the second that this was getting no reaction out of his boyfriend. “Nothing for now, but thank you! I think we just are going to browse.”

“Enjoy yourselves. Let me know if you need anything!” Mr. Thompson smiled warmly at Kit before continuing to enter numbers into the register. 

There weren’t any other patrons in the store, as even bookshops part of the Shadowhunter world didn’t have many customers in the mid morning. Kit had gotten Julian to approve this outing and to let them get out of their studies for the day, as it wasn’t the weekend, ahead of time. 

The store was dim, having mostly natural light as its light source with a few lamps by the areas customers would read. The smell of fresh paper and new books was faint in the air, and the sounds of LA traffic seemed to disappear as soon as they stepped into the shop. The store had shelves that were about Kit’s height all across the store, filled with books both about demons and weapons like those in the Institute’s library as well as plenty of mundane books as well. There were even some books written by Downworlders and retired Shadowhunters in a special section of the store. 

Kit spoke softly to Ty. “What kind of book do you want to read?” When Ty didn’t respond, staring down at his feet, Kit answered his own question, “How about we check out the crime section?” 

Ty didn’t reply, but followed Kit to the back of the store, past the graphic novels and children’s section. Kit browsed the shelf, trying to hide the fact that he was watching everything that Ty did. Ty glanced up at the bookshelf, before letting his gaze drift back down to his shoes. Kit found the Sherlock Holmes series, and pulled one at random, knowing that Ty had read all of them countless times and knew their stories by heart. 

Kit walked over to the armchairs, sitting in one, as Ty followed and sat in the other. Even though Ty still had his headphones on, Kit began to read out loud. Kit glanced at Ty from time to time, hoping that the headphones would at least come off. He didn’t want anything else right now except that. 

“There is nothing-”

“It was right.”

Kit dropped the book, quickly catching it before it could slam shut and gently shut it, setting it on the table next to him. 

“What Ty?” Kit asked gently, trying not to get his hopes up too much. Ty hadn’t spoken first in a conversation in a week.

“It was right,” Ty repeated, staring down at his hands. Kit noticed Ty’s headphones were around his neck. That must’ve happened when Kit hadn’t been looking. 

“Right about what?” Kit asked cautiously.

“I’m a failure. I couldn’t save her.”

“Livvy?” 

“She died right in front of me and I failed to save her.”

“Ty, it’s not your fault. Nobody expected Annabel to turn on everyone.”

“I shouldn’t be here,” Ty continued as if he hadn’t heard Kit, his eyes welling with tears. “I shouldn’t be here while she’s not. I should be the one that’s dead. I don’t deserve to live.”

Kit moved off the armchair and knelt in front of Ty, taking his hands in his. “Tiberius Blackthorn. Please listen to me. Livvy wouldn’t want you to think this way. While she didn’t deserve to die, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to live. Your family already lost one sibling. They can’t lose another. I can’t lose you too Ty,” Kit said urgently, his voice breaking as he tried to hold back tears.

“That’s not what it told me,” Ty said, although he sounded less definite and his voice wavered. 

“Who?”

“The Rahab demon.”

Kit’s blood ran cold. “What did it say to you?”

Tears ran down Ty’s face as he whispered, “It said that it was my fault she died. It said that I don’t deserve to live. As I cut it with my seraph blade, the last words it said were ‘Kill yourself.’” 

Kit took Ty’s face and tilted it upwards so Ty was looking at Kit’s face. Kit felt his heart shatter for Ty as tears continued to fall from Ty’s eyes, his eyes wide and eyebrows turned up. 

“Do you trust that demon more than you trust me?” Kit asked, looking Ty in the eyes.

Ty seemed taken aback by the question. “No, of course not,” he whispered.

“Then please shut out everything that demon said to you and listen to me now. Demons imitate what they’ve heard. This demon only said those things to try and break your concentration and break you down emotionally. It just wanted to gain leverage against you and spite you. Ty, you are all I have left. Please let me be selfish and keep you here. I can’t lose you too,” Kit said, a sob escaping him on his last words as tears slipped out of his eyes.

Ty looked at him in surprise. “Kit, why are you crying?”

“This is only about one hundredth of how I’d look and how I’d react to you dying. Please Ty. Say you’ll keep living for me, for Livvy, for Julian. For Dru and Tavvy and Emma. For the Sherlock Holmes books and for bad movies. For the beach, for classical music, and for the stars. Please. For everything and everyone you love and care about. We need you. I need you more than anything,” Kit finished, tears running freely down his face as he clutched Ty’s hands with one hand and the side of Ty’s head with the other. 

Wordlessly, Ty nodded once as he finally broke, sobs wracking his body as he leaned forward into Kit. For the first time since the mission, Kit held Ty, both crying into each other and desperately holding onto the other boy. After a few minutes, when Kit had long stopped crying and Ty’s tears had finally stopped, Ty pulled away.

“I-I’m sorry,” Ty sniffed. 

“It’s not your fault,” Kit said, putting his hand back on Ty’s cheek. He leaned in, gently kissing Ty, and as he pulled back, Ty whispered, “Thank you.”

Kit stood up, offering his hand to Ty. Ty took it, and the boys walked with interlaced fingers to the register where Kit returned the book. Mr. Thompson offered a gentle smile as he asked, “Did you find what you were looking for today?”

Ty looked over at Kit and Kit squeezed his hand. “Yes we did,” Kit replied. After saying goodbye to Mr. Thompson, the two boys walked out of the shop and to the car. Ty smiled hesitantly at Kit. “Can we come back soon?”

“Of course,” Kit smiled. As they drove back to the Institute, Kit and Ty enjoyed the silence and peacefulness of the car, both glad to have gotten what they wanted from the trip.

**Author's Note:**

> If the dates that I post seem odd, I promise that I am writing these everyday, just sometimes I end up posting past midnight!
> 
> Thanks for reading! Feedback is always appreciated:)
> 
> Also, if there’s a specific situation you want to see these boys in, let me know! I’m open to suggestions, but there’s no guarantee I’ll write them due to time and personal preference


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